Influences and Coaching Trees

Carl wrote a post called "Influences and Coaching Trees" where he asked "Who Influences You?" and told us that he is "just a guy that listens to many and picks and chooses information and methods I feel are effective. No bias, just information I find works for me." (That's a line of bullshit if I ever heard one.)

He continues:
"My coaching tree comes from swimming and track, but strength coaches have made a big impact on me as well. Some sport coaches have influenced me. My grandfather has influenced me. Thin coaching trees scare me, as it's ok to have branches and not be a solitary flower from one coach. After mapping out my influences I felt that I was fair and balanced, and look forward to growing more internationally this summer. "


The best part is, the picture he showed is a fucking musical influence tree!

Is he kidding? Is this guy for real? I mean, seriously, you put up a music tree?

I took the liberty to put up Carl's real Coaching Tree:


The foundation of his works starts with the Almighty Vern and Oscar the Grouch (who might very well be the same person) and goes up the tree to Debbie Downer (more of Carl's Excel days influence) and into Eeyore which has been more of his modern influence.

Party Crasher

Is Carl a party crasher? Did he sneak into the PB Summit in Providence to watch Tom Myers?

We are investigating this right now.

He only attended Sunday, that's weird for someone who always complains about money and doesn't work on Saturdays. Why only 1 day?

Does the 200 foot rule not apply on Sundays so he was able to come?

Carl, I know you read this. Please provide proof that you paid. Can you?

Why Is It Carl?

Carl,
Why is it that your main job is as a technology specialist for Weston Public Schools?

Why is it that you are an assistant coach at UMass Lowell? Why not head coach? Did you turn down that position?

Why is it that you are not working in any capacity as a strength coach but continue to talk about strength and conditioning coaches like it's your business? You don't even fucking train anyone!!

Why is it that none of your bios talk about any certifications in strength and conditioning?

Why is it that you don't have a coaching job in the school district you work for as a technology asshole? Do they know about your "passion" for young athletes?

Why is it that we have to PM you to get access to your mediacast? It should be public- all of us kool-aid drinking, guru followers want to learn from you.

Why is it that the one place we know you worked as a personal trainer closed because they had NO business? Did they not advertise that you were working there?

Why is it that you don't work out? How can you talk to us about training when you don't even work out yourself?

Why is it that you are "one of the foremost experts in the fields of nutrition and restoration" but besides your complaining, whining, crying blogposts, I don't see anything out there from you? (Except your secret Mediacasts)

Why Carl, Why?

Why is it that you are such an asshole?

Multiple Carlgasms

OH Boy, Our Old Buddy is at it again!! Carl must be back on his meds, he is posting like a madman!

It a coincidence that school is just about done for "technology specialist" Carl and all of the sudden he is posting multiple times a day?

Lock up the kids, Carl is back!

First order of business here is to take off Nick T from the "Coaches Carl Hates" list, it seems they have made up and Carl loves his stuff now.

I also added Tom Myers to the list of "Coaches Carl Hates", since Carl snuck into the PB Summit and watched his presentation.