Carl Is Gonna Be Pissed!

Things have been going really bad for Carl lately.
Boyle came out with Functional Strength Coach 3.0 and it was an overwhelming success. Boyle made more money in those 2 weeks than Carl makes all year. Seriously. This made Carl soooooo mad!
He has been obsessed with ripping on Boyle in almost every one of his blog posts since then.

The Bitter Old Man has also gotten in on the action and I'm sure Carl and Vern have been Pow-Wowing late nights on Skype plotting their demise of Boyle.
Now even worse news: New books from Boyle and Coach Dos! (see pics above)

Carl will be devastated. He will have a hard time fixing computers all day with his mind on the profits of his two most hated rivals.

Carl has a "Mailbag"

When I stop laughing, I will post something.

Be Ready

From Carl's post "Ponz-Lee Performance" (I gotta hand it to this asshole, he puts time into his titles)- "Is regenerationlab.com back? YES. Be ready."

This is so amazing. I can't wait until Carl helps coaches "take back the truth" (I swear he said that, I can't make this shit up) because "we are making an impact one person at a time."

He has now impacted at least 7 people, although 6 are from the Weston Public School system when he set up their computer network at the schools.

Be ready.

He Can't Help Himself

Carl posted again today.
The last time he posted was April 15, today is April 24. He hasn't posted for 9 days and he comes back with "Caught in Limbo."
From Carl: " Instead of being negative I will share some of my experiences with the "limbo catch" commonly found at the youtube channel with Coach Dos."

We are soooooo lucky, Carl came back to talk to us about his experience with the limbo catch! What an asshole this guy is. It boggles my mind that Mike Young lets him continue with this same old bullshit.

Where was he? Was he busy training? Is it the I.T. busy season?
Did he spend 9 days waiting for Dos to post something so he could post again?

Carl is very obsessed with Boyle but Dos is giving Boyle a run for his money.

He is almost as obsessed with them as I am with him.

I can't help myself either.

A Great American...

from Carl's latest post, "El Diablo and Angel Cabrera" (does anyone have better blog post titles?):

"Right now it's not easy to be an American with the war, the economy, and the drug scandals with sport but when great coaches are brushed aside by Russian propaganda I will take action and will continue to dump the kool-aid in Boston Harbor like the Sons of Liberty."

We salute you Carl and thank Allah that you are here to look out for our best interests. In honor of Carl, let's all send in a packet of Kool-Aid with our taxes.

This guy gets better and better, I wonder if he really believes the shit he writes.

Carl Does It Again

It didn't take long for Carl to get back on "track" with his bullshit. He just can't help himself!

He has managed to drive away what would have been an amazing contributor to the EliteTrack forums, James "The Thinker" Smith.

Here is The Thinker's latest post:

"Elite Track Members"

James Smith/The Thinker

Sunday, 12 April 2009

The combative, sarcastic, and insulting remarks of more than one member of Elite Track as well Carl Valle, are a childish and immature reminder of all that is unfortunate regarding the democratic nature of internet forums.

Why it is that individuals choose to punctuate what might other wise be intelligent points with cheap shots and combative language, I'm not sure.

At any rate, as a coach who has limited free time I'm certainly uninterested in spending some of it here at Elite Track where, ironically, it is the senior members and staff who demonstrate a strikingly immature on-line persona.

Mike, I appreciate you offering me this opportunity to present my thoughts via a web log; however, I think I will walk away from this opportunity as quickly as I was offered it.

I'd like to publicly announce the respect I have for Mike Young and his contributions to the business and voice my concern regarding how absurd it is that an individual such as Mike should have to waste his time babysitting an internet forum whose own staff members such as Carl Valle seem to be compelled to antagonize others who share dissimilar views on sport training.

Short of a paradigm shift taking place here, this web log will likely be the last of my participation here on the Elite Track website.

James Smith

We are with you James. Not sure why Mike Young continues to allow Carl to destroy his otherwise great site.

Prediction- Carl will no longer be on EliteTrack by the end of the week.

Maybe Boyle will let Carl back...

Open Letter To Mike Young from ELITETRACK

Dear Mike,
In reference to Carl Valle, What The Fuck Is Wrong With YOU?!!!

Why would you have this asshole writing for your site? You seem like an intelligent guy. Did someone throw a shot put on your head?

Have a great day.

Carl Valle is At It Again

Carl is back and better than ever. I guess his IT schedule has slowed down and he can go back to negative posting about strength coaches.

In commenting about another trainer's article, Carl wrote:
"While I have not read his article, it is likely to be prone exercises like bridges or the typical swiss or medball slaps kneeling or standing."

Let me play that back again for you:
"While I have not read his article..."

He is commenting on an article he has not read! You have to love this prick.

If he walked into Yankee Stadium, the fans would start chanting "Asshole, Asshole"

He goes on to mention Gray Cook:
"Just like the chops and lifts from Cook proven to only be good for chopping and lifting low loads, core strength is not developed through these means."

Gray never says it is for development of core strength you fucking moron, read his shit before you comment.

He held out for a few months but he is back with his bullshit. Bring it on Carl, I'm watching you, fucker.

Carl Entertains Himself with Grandiose Phrases

From Carl's latest blog:
"Since my blog titles annoys my biggest fan I will continue to post more grandiose phrases to entertain myself."

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Carl's latest Grandiose Phrase from his latest blog title:

"Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate"

This guy is awesome and I'm his "biggest fan."

Hey Everybody! Carl's Baaaaaaaaaack!

You heard right, Carl's back!

According to our poll, most of you thought he might be holed up on a romantic getaway with Vern. Although no one voted for Carl being in a A Blog Anger Management Facility, it seems like he might have been because he has been so cheery and loving in his last few posts. He even gave some props to that no-good-site-banning Boyle.

Anyway, here are the results to our question-

Carl Hasn't Posted Since Dec. 29th. Where is he?

Dos killed him and buried him with Jimmy Hoffa in Giants Stadium- 16%

Tied up in the back of Cosgroves trunk- 33%

Holed up with Vern on a romantic weekend- 50%

A Blog Anger Management Facility- 0%

Where the Heck is Carl?

Carl has not written a blog post since Dec. 29!!! What's going on? Do you know where he is? Did he go on vacation? Is he in hiding?

Take the poll up on the right and tell us where you think Carl is.

The Results Are In! Who Does Carl Hate the Most?

We only had 11 voters this time and it was pretty close. Boyle and Cressey got 3 votes each, but Carl took it with 5 votes. So most people think Carl hates himself more than the coaches he rips on in almost every blog post. Very surprised that Dos did not receive any votes.